The Solar System Boy Band

Venus is the hot one and will turn out to be gay (natch, I mean Venus?)
Earth is the um, down-to-earth one - full of life.
Mars - the cold and distant one - always at war with the other members
Jupiter - slightly overweight - jolly
Saturn - Gaudy over-compensator wears lots of jewelry and rings - looks up to Jupiter

Hot headed Mercury - left in a huff to form his own band - his manager is the real star though.
Uranus was an asshole and left before fame came.
Neptune - always blue, committed suicide after what happened to Pluto...
Pluto? Well, Pluto was thrown out when it was discovered he never could sing.